The Watering Hole
Shinbone
readers bend a few elbows, and fire back
ssssssssss
The Shinbone's March 14, 2007 column Guys vs. Gaia: Enviros want to extinguish manhood (3/14/07) was linked to the Drudge Report, by way of the National Ledger, prompting the largest quantity of feedback to any Shinbone column to date. Below is a sampling of the most colorful responses. Because these letters were not sent directly to The Shinbone for publication, the respondents' names have been omitted. Due to the abnormally high volume of e-mails, the editor of The Shinbone was not able to reply to all of them, but he thanks all those who have taken the time to write.
*"Bravo. Good job, you hit the nail on the head. The problem is there are too many men having kids out of wedlock and letting the women raise the males with no male influence. They grow up and don't know what it means to be a man or how to act like one. Half our population needs John Wayne to dig himself out of the grave and give them an [deleted] beating and some advice on how to be a man."
*"Your biased viewpoint is hardly a clear and accurate perspective. It's due to unthinking, ignorant sheep such as yourself that things like climate change are even mocked. Most American liberal ideas encompass a greater understanding of the individual, thus encompassing a greater compassion for the fellow man. no institution on this planet would survive, or even be founded without individuals with liberal, positive, evolutionary ideas.
Not even the Grand Oil Empire in which we live today.
Unless you believe in forms of despotism, I'm sure that you and I could agree that the United States would not exist as a democracy if it had not been for the Founding Fathers of our country who all had individual, liberal, differing ideals for the country. Despite all of this, they united themselves under one liberal idea: to revolt against the English Empire. So, if following the example of the great men who founded this country is a negative principle to you, personally I think you've lost touch with what they founded in the first place. Whatever you do with your life, I'm certain you don't fit a stereotype. Who am I to judge? So I insist, on behalf of every loving person in this country, keep doing what you do. Keep drinking beer, Keep judging people, Keep killing this beautiful living planet on which we reside, our Mother Earth. Most of all, please keep writing these disgusting, ignorant articles. You do not have to believe false dogmatic theologies to believe in the scientific fact that the Earth is alive, and aware. Keep watching more Fox News. Keep filling your SUV with premium octanes. Keep voting for fascist administrations. Anywho, please just keep screwing up. The sooner fear-mongering fools like you destroy themselves, the sooner humanity will reach greater, more positive understandings of itself, of its environment, and of God."
*"this is one of the most pathetic things i have ever read"
*"Unfortunately you're saying that we should be as narrow as anyone wants us to be and be just you're idea of a male? I have to eat meat to be a male? Do I have to subject women and children to my authority? I guess you're also saying that I can only use my mind or my strength but that I can't both. Why don't you stop trying to define all of us by such narrow and ignorant ideas? It seems your attachment to being male helps you get away from actually questioning things? Do you have a degree in science? If you were actually saying something useful you should say that we need to take more time to come to conclusions. Whats the point of taking person issue with Mr.Gore rather than questioning his facts? The point is that you're own definitions of yourself and our society are being tugged at and you can't handle it. Adaptability is the corner stone of intelligence but I don't think you'd be one to see that, you probably think that intelligence relies on test scores or the amount of money someone has. Ignorance is bliss."
*"Mr. Clark, I don't know how much it took to buy you, but it was enough to allow you to write this ridiculous piece.
As you have chosen to stand with those people I wont try and educate you as you seem to be of that minority of the far right that wants to head their heads in the sand. Reality is that the world is changing. Deal with it.
Reality is that global warming is a fact. Learn to live with it."
*"Great words. Your a guy's guy, in the straight way."
*"Great story. Hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it. The sad thing is that what you say is so true. Real scientists can't say anything for fear of loss of funding. Politicians see gravy train of supporters by passing stupid laws. I am surprised we don't see cows with butt plugs in the fields."
*"You're stupid. I pity you and your readers. Buzz off."
*"I think this article is a load of BS. I'm a real man and I realize that we have serious problems on this
planet. This is a moral issue people. Stop trying to make it political."
*"I hope you had to pay for whatever education you received yourself - if you got grants or loans, or even if your parents paid, you wasted good peoples' money. This essay is retarded. You're a bad writer and a stunted thinker."
*"I own a natural foods store on Maui, and I couldn't agree with you more. I am surrounded by this man made global warming crap all day long. My question about the polar bear was this: If I shot it how would I get it off the ice flow and into my truck? Keep up the good work."
*"Creative article, good for a laugh. As far as substance, I'd gladly meet you outside to settle this like men - you're an ignoramous on climate"
*"Boohoo!!! Global warming is helping deconstruct artificial social categories that have absolutely no bearing on the survival humanity. I'd go cry about it, but you've already done that for me."
*"You are the biggest idiot of have ever seen in print besides Rush Limbaugh. 99.999999% of serious scientists are seeing global warming as a very dangerous threat to all life on this planet and you reduce it to a threat to your [deleted]. Disgusting! Obviously, you think with it, too."
*"then why not be a real man about the issue and be brave. be a leader. take care of people by taking care of the planet. stop worrying about being emasculated by your television and do something."
*"Kudos, sir. Tonight I will grill an elk steak in your honor."
*"You are a big stupid [deleted]."
*"AWESOME ARTICLE!!! I'm still laughing after reading it 3 times. You can 'write' sir! I'm a former English teacher/literature teacher/and speech, you MUST have gone through one of my classes, because THIS is how to be convincing; humor, wit, substance, and timing!! I have sent this one to all of my liberal friends who are so rigid and boring and 'mean-spirited' about their liberalism. xoxox"
*"This seems like pretty useless blather if it was intended to comment on the merits of the cattle farming issue. If it was meant to be useless blather, it was successful."
*"Your article really annoyed me because it takes an exceedingly shallow approach to what maleness actually is -- maleness has nothing to do with steaks or beer, the core is really in VALUES ... like protecting those who are weaker, those who cannot protect themselves, solving problems rather than
causing them, and competition to see who can create a better solution to a problem ... "
*"Imagine all the environmental damage that was done by the millions of buffaloes before the nasty buffalo hunters got rid of most of them."
*"Well put, in every respect. In protest, I always spill a little fuel, and let my SUV idle, and eat lots of beans.
PS If the nurses are going to siphon testosterone, can I go back to high school to get 'siphoned'?"
*"Mr Clark, in order for a piece like this to work you either have to be funny or accurate. If your purpose was to make me feel sorry for you, in the way that I feel sorry for the kids on the short bus, well done."
The Shinbone: The Frontier of the Free Press