Los Angeles Times columnist Joel Stein has come under criticism for a piece in which he wrote that he does not support the American soldiers fighting the War on Terror. "I don't support what they are doing," he wrote, "and I don't see the point of putting a big yellow magnet on your car if you don't." For some reason, this honest statement of Stein's has raised the ire of conservatives, most of whom are willing to parrot the "what could be more American than dissent" line whenever liberals claim to "support the troops" while at the same time celebrating their deaths, and accusing them of atrocities.

The ACLU of New Jersey claims to have discovered, in the First Amendment, a teenage boy's right to wear a skirt to school. Only the ACLU can see this right, because it's hidden in one of the Constitution's penumbras, and you need to be wearing mirrored shoes in order to look at one of those.

Rapper Kanye West has appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, posing as Jesus, with a crown of thorns. Mike Myers was not available to give his reaction, but you could probably guess.

French president Jacques Chirac shocked the Western world when he suggested that he might use nuclear weapons against any terror-state that attacks his country. In reality, he'd probably just drop very old cheese on them, but the effect would be much the same.

The Iranian government has banned CNN reporters from the country until further notice, due to an alleged mistranslation, in which Mahmoud Ahmadinejad supposedly said that Iran had a right to "nuclear technology," but was interpreted as claiming a right to "nuclear weapons." It is only an alleged mistranslation, because both Ahmadinejad and CNN now agree that the network was mistaken. You may remember that former CNN chief news executive Eason Jordan admitted in 2003 that the network had concealed many of Saddam Hussein's atrocities since before the first Gulf War, in order to maintain access to government sources. It just might be that "the most trusted name in news" is admitting this "error" as a goodwill gesture, in order to be let back into the country. ... And if that doesn't work, they could always give the Mullahs a reference from Fidel Castro.

Because of her superficial support for the war in Iraq, Sen. Hillary Clinton has lost the support of former presidential candidate Gary Hart. This has got to be the biggest blow to her career since she lost her husband's endorsement from that organization of headband-wearers back in 1992.

Following the deadly explosion at the Sago Mine in West Virginia, the news media almost unanimously compounded the tragedy by falsely reporting that twelve of the thirteen missing miners had been found alive, when in fact only one had survived. A typical press account appeared in the next morning's USA Today, in which Tom Vanden Brook reported, "Twelve missing miners were found alive and rescued from deep inside a coal mine Tueasday ...," as if the reporter had himself witnessed the men being lifted to safety. Worse yet, the article continued, "The men were taken by ambulances to a nearby hospital for examination." In fact, twelve of the men were known to be dead while they were still underground. Neither Vanden Brook, nor apparently any other reporter, had bothered to contact this anonymous nearby hospital to see if there was any actual news to report. Just something to keep in mind, next time the mainstream press denigrate The Drudge Report as "gossip."

In a speech at the University of Havana, Fidel Castro referred to Florida governor Jeb Bush as the president's "fat little brother in Florida." It's good to see that Al Franken has finally found an audience.

The North Korean government is denouncing a CNN broadcast depicting a public execution in that country as a "sheer fabrication." Hmmmm. Kim Jong-Il vs. "the most trusted name in news": Whom to believe?

On November 24^th, NewsMax reports that American soldiers had killed roughly 700 terrorists in Iraq, and captured another 1,500, over the previous two months, according to Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch. Since the news media have yet to celebrate the thousandth enemy casualty, that must mean that fewer than 300 of the enemy had been killed up until that point.

In an appearance at Hofstra University, former president Bill Clinton conceded that sending the tanks into the Branch Davidian compound in Waco in 1993 was the wrong decision. "We should have waited them out," he said. So now he doesn't care if children were being molested?

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch has investigated the claims of American war atrocities made by Sgt. James Massey -- the soldier who has accompanied Cindy Sheehan on her bus tour -- and found them to range from unsubstantiated to provably false. Nevertheless, Massey has recounted his tales in a book entitled Kill! Kill! Kill!, which is expected to become a best-seller in France. It looks like the Democrats have found themselves a presidential nominee for 2034.

At the dedication of a brain research center at MIT, Sen. John Kerry (D, Mass.) decried "a shortsighted period in the American experience" due to his contention that "federal science and research boards are being stacked with partisans and ideologues," who resist embryonic research and are skeptical about global warming. "We see it in the rigid refusal to listen to what the Earth is trying to tell us about the condition of the air and water and land that surround us and sustain us," he said. Right out of the Democrat presidential losers' handbook. He might as well grow a beard.

The Washington Post reports that the CIA has been interrogating terrorist leaders in secret prisons in Eastern Europe. Although this disclosure may strike most people as unremarkable, it is sure to be used as fodder by self-described "human rights activists" who act as a public relations firm for the terrorists. Still, it's not as if the Post has done anything to jeopardize our national security, like leaking the identity of Valerie Plame, or anything.

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has been found to have illegally obtained the credit history of Maryland's lieutenant governor and prospective Republican Senate candidate Michael Steele. Two of New York senator Charles Schumer's staffers, named Katie Barge and Lauren Weiner, surreptitiously used Steele's Social Security number to request the credit report. Mind you, days before this story broke in the New York papers, Schumer was among those Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committe who were grilling John Roberts over the issue of a "right to privacy."

A study by the Journal of the American Medical Association "found" that fetuses are incapable of feeling pain until the third trimester. Among the five authors of the study are one who is an administrator at an abortion clinic, and another who has in the past been an activist with NARAL. Despite this, editor-in-chief Catherine DeAngelis insists that JAMA does not produce "politically motivated science."

A Chinese company called the Guangzhou Rubber Group has begun producing condoms using the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky. The "Clinton Legacy" lives!

MSNBC reports that Michael Moore is thinking of making a film about Hurricane Katrina and the ensuing New Orleans flood. It turns out that the reason no food and water was brought to the Superdome was because Dick Cheney was guarding the entrance in a Bradley armored fighting vehicle with "Halliburton" painted on the side, blasting Red Cross trucks to smithereens.

Jesse Jackson complains that it is racist to refer to displaced victims of Hurricane Katrina as "refugees," because that term usually refers to foreigners. The fact that they are fleeing and seeking refuge cannot itself make them "refugees," at least not according to the man who once called the president "unliterate."

Saddam Hussein tells prosecutors that his slaughter of 180,000 Kurds was legally justified "retribution." The American and international media, however, have had little to say on the matter. After all, it's not as if he'd humiliated those people by taking pictures of them in their underpants.

Lt. Col. Anthony Shaffer, a former participant in a classified intelligence project known as "Able Danger," reveals that his group had identified Mohamed Atta and three other 9-11 hijackers more than a year before the attacks occurred, but was prevented from sharing this information with the FBI. This appears to suggest that Able Danger was impeded by the "Gorelick wall" -- the rigid policy implemented by Clinton administration Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick, which prevented intelligence and law enforcement from sharing information. Gorelick, of course, was a member of the 9-11 Commission, which was supposed to have investigated pre-9-11 intelligence failures, but claims to have no knowledge of Able Danger. Perhaps now the 567-page 9-11 Commission Report will be reissued with the following addendum: "Never mind."

Starting next February, the NCAA is forbidding the display of whatever it deems to be "hostile or abusive" ethnic team mascots, nicknames or logos at championship events. Naturally, this is being done to foster "cultural diversity." Makes perfect sense: expunge all ethnic references, and what remains will be more "diverse." Angered by the organization's rebuke of the Florida State Seminoles -- who use that name with the blessings of the tribe -- Gov. Jeb Bush remarked, "I think they insult those people by telling them, 'No, no, you're not smart enough to understand this. You really should feel horrible about this.' It's ridiculous. ... The folks who make these decisions need to get out more often." Now, if only Jeb's brother would put him in charge of Title IX enforcement.

Newsweek reports that Democrat strategist-guru George Lakoff is advising his party to drop the "choice" euphemism from its pro-abortion rhetoric, and instead start using the phrase "personal freedom." The article says that DNC Chairman Howard Dean, who is also trying to "reframe" the issue, wants to "take 'abortion' out of the political lexicon." Former NARAL president Kate Michelman strangely disagrees, saying, "I don't agree that we can never say the word 'abortion'." Michelman's organization, remember, removed the word "abortion" from its own title two and a half years ago. [See: Choice Words: NARAL expunges abortion from its title (1/16/03)] The thought that their message suffers from something other than poor semantics continues to elude them.

A handwritten lyric sheet for the song, "All You Need Is Love," used by John Lennon during a 1967 television appearance, was auctioned off for just over $1 million -- or about $100,000 per word.

Fidel Castro had at least 63 dissidents arrested in the month of July, in a crackdown designed to prevent recurrences of an anti-Communist rally that was held two months earlier. It's a good thing El Jefe didn't mishandle any Qurans in the process, or else the International Community might get angry.

A ton of World War II-era explosives has been found hidden inside a Moscow hotel, apparently for the purpose of destroying the building in the event of a Nazi takeover. By WMD "smoking gun" standards, this serves as proof that there are no explosives in Moscow.

In a pair of 5-4 rulings, the Supreme Court allowed a monument displaying the Ten Commandments to remain outside the Texas Capitol building, but ordered the state of Kentucky to remove framed copies of the Commandments from two courthouses. Justice Stephen Breyer, who voted in the majority in both cases, based his decisions in part on the fact that the plaques in Kentucky were "certainly likely to prove divisive" in a way that the Texas monument, which had already stood for decades without incident, was not. From which part of the Constitution this newly found "divisiveness clause" had eminated, he didn't say.

The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that local governments may seize private property through eminent domain, even for the purpose of transferring that property to another private owner. In the soon to be infamous Kelo v. City of New London case, the Court ruled that the city had the right to displace seven families in order to build a pharmaceutical research plant. This is because, "[p]romoting economic development is a traditional and long-accepted function of government," according to Justice John Paul Stevens; therefore, it qualified as a "public benefit." The Fifth Amendment only allows private property to be taken for "public use," a phrase to which the New London transaction does not apply, as was pointed out in a dissent by Justice Clarence Thomas. Of course, the Constitution doesn't say "right to privacy" or "separation of church and state" either. At least Stevens' "public benefit" standard uses one word that actually appears in the document, which must be why the liberal media imagine that the Court is becoming more conservative.

Bush political strategist Karl Rove said in a speech to the New York Conservative Party that "liberals saw the savagery of the 9-11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." Many prominent members of the Democratic Party -- whose chairman allows Osama bin Laden the presumption of innocence, and whose presidential candidate wanted to treat terrorism as a domestic criminal matter and wage a "more sensitive war on terror" -- are demanding an apology.

Joining the chorus of former president Jimmy Carter and Sen. Joseph Biden (D, Del.), Sen. Mel Martinez (R. Fla.) has spoken out in favor of closing the terrorist detention camp in Guantanamo Bay. "It's become an icon for bad stories and at some point you wonder about the cost-benefit ratio," he said. This despite the senator's own admission that the prisoners there are treated better than the ones at the Orange County jail, and the fact that the "bad stories" have for the most part been fabricated by the detainees. While Carter's and Biden's treasonous positions are to be expected, someone needs to ask Sen. Martinez to explain why we should continue to imprison the enemy at all, if not specifically at Gitmo. Depending on his answer, he may wish to consider resigning from public office, rather than risk becoming "an icon for bad stories" himself.

Upon being presented an award by Talkers magazine, Air America host Al Franken blathered on until other guests started to walk out on him. According to the New York Post, publisher Michael Harrison of Talkers implored the crowd to stay while demanding that Franken stop speaking, but Franken continued until he made whatever he thought his point was. What a perfect metaphor for liberal talk radio: media acclaim, but few willing listeners.

Rep. Charles Rangel (D, N.Y.) has compared the war in Iraq to the Holocaust. He must be bucking for secretary general of Amnesty International.

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, N.Y.) complained at a recent fundraiser that President Bush is "the first president in history that took us to war and cut taxes at the same time." She's right about that, but does she understand why? Here's a hint: Since the federal income tax was first enacted, we've been taken to war by five Democrats, and G.H.W. "read my lips" Bush.

In one of the great ironies in recent memory, the constitution of the European Union, viewed by many leftists as a balance against American power, has been at least temporarily shelved by the voters of France. By a margin of about 56 to 44 percent, the French have rejected the charter, which must be approved by all EU member-states by November 2006 in order to take effect. The vote is seen as a sound defeat for president Jacques Chirac, who finds himself staving off calls for his resignation. American wisecrackers might have to tone it down on the French jokes for awhile, now that the citizens of that country have confronted a threat to its sovereignty, and defeated it.

Two unexploded bombs, dropped by Great Britain during the Second World War, were discovered in Rome, prompting the evacuation of more than 10,000 people. By WMD "smoking gun" standards, this serves as proof that there are no British bombs in Italy.

USA Today reports that governors across America are expressing surprise at a 7.2 nationwide increase in 2004 state tax revenues over 2003, a result for which the paper provides no explanation. Let's see ... economic growth is booming, and state governments are seeing a sharp increase in tax revenue. Yet politicians and journalists alike are "surprised." There they go again.

A group of fourteen senators calling themselves the "bipartisan center" struck a deal allowing full Senate votes for judges Priscilla Owen, Janice Rogers Brown, and William Pryor. In exchange, the Republicans agree not to change Senate rules to prevent the filibustering of judicial nominations, while Democrats agree not to filibuster any judges except under "extraordinary circumstances" -- to be defined by Democrats, of course. The "mavericks" who brokered the deal even "encourage" President Bush to consult with the Senate before nominating anybody. If the Republicans had implemented the rule change (a.k.a., the "nuclear option"), they would have gotten votes on Owen, Brown and Pryor anyway, along with many others. So basically, the "compromise" gives nothing to the GOP that it couldn't have taken for itself if it had been so inclined. The seven Jellyphants responsible for this, the most lopsided negotiation since SALT II, were John McCain of Arizona, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe of Maine, Mike DeWine of Ohio, Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island, Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, and John Warner of Virginia.

Talk show host Larry King showed up in court hoping to appear as a witness in the Michael Jackson trial, but was turned away by Judge Rodney S. Melville, who had determined that King had nothing relevant to say. So now it's official.

British parliamentarian George Galloway appeared before the U.S. Senate to angrily deny his involvement in the Oil-for-Food scandal. If he meant to distance himself from Saddam's regime, however, he would have been better served not calling the investigation "the mother of all smokescreens."

Democratic National Committe chairman Howard Dean endorsed Vermont Socialist Bernie Sanders in his race for the Senate. "A victory for Bernie Sanders is a win for Democrats," he said. Mind you, this is not to say that Democrats and Socialists have much in common. That would be extreme.

Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is considering a 2 percent fast food tax. What a brilliant idea to boost the city's economy, by getting rid of all those no-good hamburger-flipper jobs.

The man said to be al-Qaeda's leader in Pakistan, Abu Farraj al-Libbi, was captured by Pakistani government agents, who were working in collaboration with the CIA. Remember: in Kerryspeak, this means that we "outsourced" the job. We must have outsourced the news coverage, too. In USA Today, the story appeared on page A9.

University of Arkansas football coach Houston Nutt reversed his policy of making players with poor work habits wear pink jerseys in practice, in response to phone calls protesting his use of the color pink. Nutt had originally indicated that the offended parties were speaking on behalf of breast cancer survivors, whose supporters wear pink ribbons. He later admitted that he had not been contacted by anyone affiliated with organizations like the Susan B. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and the Ozark Race for the Cure. Both of those groups, having better things to worry about, are indifferent to Nutt's players' attire, but were nevertheless receiving angry calls from fans. What did not appear in the initial AP report was that the coach had also received complaints from gay activists (or only from them, depending on the true motives of whoever complained on behalf of the cancer victims). Never mind that his stated reason for scrapping the new shirts proved not to be valid; he's sticking with his decision in hopes of putting the whole episode behind him. Good luck. Nutt may be a veteran football coach, but he's made a big rookie mistake in dealing with screeching liberal busybodies, in that giving them any concession will always bring them back for more. Now that he's declared the color pink to be verboten, it's only a matter of time before his hecklers take note that the Arkansas team name is the Razorbacks, that a razorback is a pig, and that pigs are pink. As if that weren't bad enough, the word "pig" even sounds like "pink." How insensitive can you get?

Clinton administration National Security Advisor Sandy Berger has pled guilty to the illegal removal and destruction of classified documents from the National Archives. As part of a proposed plea bargain, Berger would avoid any prison time, and would only lose his security clearance for three years, in exchange for "cooperating" with the investigation, whatever that means. While ostensibly organizing documents to turn over to the 9-11 Commission, Berger allegedly destroyed papers that were critical of Clinton's handling of terrorism in the aftermath of the foiled Millenium Plot. By all means, let's allow this man to resume handling classified materials by the year 2008.

While being sworn in as a witness at a civil lawsuit, mopey CBS personality Andy Rooney refused to say, "So help me God." Just think how mad he'll be if God goes ahead and helps him anyway.

When asked in a press conference whether he intends to resign, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan replied, "Hell, no." In order to fortify this position, he might consider drawing up a tough-talking UN resolution, demanding his own ouster.

Despite the efforts of the U.S. Congress and Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the courts successfully conspired to allow Michael Schiavo to kill his severely handicapped wife, Terri. We can expect Jack Kevorkian to file that appeal any day now. Come to think of it, since Michael's status as Terri's guardian was a determining factor in discovering a "right to choose" to kill his wife, then Andrea Yates, Susan Smith, and anyone else who's killed somebody over which he or she is a guardian should demand a new hearing, also.

On March 14^th, the New York Times finally reported what has been known in some circles for almost a year, that some of Saddam's missile sites containing dual use equipment capable of producing WMD were hastily dismantled and moved during the invasion. [See: What Defines WMD?: Semantics, not weapons, prove elusive (7/31/04)] Obviously, this is a bit of cunning reverse psychology. Those of us who were already aware of these reports must now decide whether we still think they're true, now that they've appeared on the pages of the Times.

USA Today reports that American efforts to combat air pollution are being counteracted by increases in contamination from China, Africa and Latin America. Time to talk reparations.

5-foot-6, 266 pound Argentine former soccer star Diego Maradona, who now resides in Cuba, flew to Bogota, Colombia recently to have gastric bypass surgery. Evidently, the "finest health care system in the world" can't handle a routine stomach-stapling.

Twenty-six members of Congress have written a letter of protest to Universal Press, the syndicate that distributes Ann Coulter's column, over Coulter's characterization of elderly far-left columnist Helen Thomas as an "old Arab." The letter said, "Just as we would expect that similar slights against African-Americans, Jews, or Hispanics would not be tolerated, equal disapproval should be shown toward these repeated slanders directed at Arab-Americans." Fair enough, but if slights against Jews were not to be tolerated either, these lawmakers would not be criticizing a criticism of Helen Thomas, who is like a pale, wrinkled Louis Farrakhan without the bow tie. If Coulter retracts her remark and instead refers to Thomas as an "old, unpatriotic, anti-Semitic, cantankerous gasbag who's only allowed into White House press conferences out of sheer pity," perhaps these congressional offendees will agree to a truce.

Syrian-backed Lebanese prime minister Omar Karami announced that he and his cabinet were resigning, hours after tens of thousands of Lebanese citizens took to the streets, in defiance of a government-imposed curfew, to demand an end to Syria's occupation of their country. No word yet from John Kerry on whether or not this is a significant development.

In a meeting with President Bush, Russian president Vladmir Putin defended his crackdown on his country's news media by charging that Bush had done likewise, by firing Dan Rather. If that reflects the quality of information the former KGB chief has gathered about America, then it's a wonder the Soviets didn't surrender the Cold War sooner -- before we sent our secret squadron of fire-breathing penguins after them.

NewsMax.com reports that former president Bill Clinton took time out from his tour of the tsunami wreckage to attend lucrative book-signing events in Hong Kong, Taiwan, South Korea and Japan. The purpose of his trip to Asia, on which he was accompanied by former president George H.W. Bush (who presumably came home empty-handed) was to encourage Americans to donate more money to the victims of the tsunami. Surely, Clinton feels their pain, but will they feel any of his payin'?

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports that a program on that city's public access television network might be taken off the air, just because it contains scenes from pornographic movies. The show's creator and host, Mike Aivaz, supposedly sometimes appears on the air naked himself, although this publication has no intention of independently confirming that. To the surprise of nobody sane, Aivaz vehemently opposes President Bush, and often railed against him on the air. Now broke, and 42 years old, Aivaz says he's decided to get a job. At the time of this writing, the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee is available.

As Iraqis turned out in massive numbers for the first legitimate election in their nation's history, former U.S. presidential candidate John Kerry cautioned that we should not "overhype" the significance of the event. Mind you, this is the same John Kerry who said that the 9-11 attacks "didn't change me much at all," and who thinks all the terrorist attacks that preceded 9-11 were a "nuisance." If Nero fiddled while Rome burned, then John Kerry has done likewise -- except that it's not a "fiddle"; it's a violin, oaf!

At a Martin Luther King Day celebration at a Baptist church in Harlem, faux-Republican governor Michael Bloomberg compared former presidential candidate and eternal fraud Al Sharpton to civil rights hero Rosa Parks, in that each of them had "made a difference." Of course this is, on a very basic level, true. But then again, both George Washington and Benedict Arnold "made a difference" also, so Bloomberg's comparison was just as specious as it was sniveling. That ought to be enough to win him the media's endorsement as the frontrunner for the '08 nomination.

U.S. District Judge Clarence Cooper ruled that it is unconstitutional for public schools in Georgia to label science textbooks with stickers that read, "This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered." Approached with an open mind? Studied carefully and critically considered? Not with the ACLU around. That organization joined five parents whose children were grotesquely scarred by the stickers, in charging that the disclaimer was a violation of the "separation of church and state," which appears somewhere in the hypotenuse of the Eleventeenth Amendment.

A group of Democrats challenged the counting of Ohio's electoral votes for President Bush, supposedly due to concerns about voter irregularities in that state. Senate Minority Leader Tom DeLay (R, Texas) characterized the challenge as being motivated by "spite, obstructionism, and conspiracy theories." Whatever could have given him that idea? Perhaps it was because the move was inspired in part by an open letter to Democrat senators, posted by lying propagandist Michael Moore. Sen. Maxine Waters (D, Calif.) even dedicated her floor speech to Moore, whom she thanked for "educating the world on the threat to our democracy and the proceedings of this House on the acceptance of the electoral college votes for the 2000 presidential election." Keep in mind that Moore -- who registered as a Democrat in New York, endorsed Democrat presidential candidate Wesley Clark, and was a guest at the Democratic National Convention, where he was seated next to former president Carter -- insists he is not a Democrat. This just goes to show how much damage he has done to that party, that even he is ashamed to be associated with it.

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